The wedding itself had gone, seemingly, fine. The guests were rude and the relatives annoying, but nothing out of the ordinary. About nine months later, however, this couple left a scathing review of my services on a popular wedding site. They insisted that I had ignored correspondence, lied about my prices, and threatened to leave in the middle of the reception. They did, however, admit that I'd taken beautiful photos.
I struggled between intense disbelieve and mild amusement as I read her entry: “She failed to remind us to bring the other half of our deposit for her beforehand or to the actual wedding even when she was there shooting the ceremony. I know it was our responsibility, but we had understandably a lot on our minds that day.” The bride insisted that I had “pretty abruptly approached us and threatened to leave if she didn't get the remaining $100 of her deposit. We scrambled to borrow a check from a relative so she would stay and finish.”
You are thirty years old, my dear, so pardon me that I didn’t realize you still needed your Mommy to fold your underpants. Your contract made it quite clear when the payment was due, as did I. I assumed since I was being hired as a photographer, you didn’t also require me as a wedding coordinator. Had I realized you did need this consideration, I could have made out sticky-note reminders and attached them to your Slim-Fast.
What actually happened was this: At our initial consultation, the couple was informed of all pertinent information regarding our contract. I explained that I was being hired for six hours of shooting unless otherwise arranged, that 50% of my fee was due up front and the other 50% was due the day of the wedding. The contract was signed, the retainer was paid, and we parted ways.
The ceremony was scheduled to take place on a covered bridge outside of Des Moines, IA. All formal portraits were to be taken after the ceremony ended. While I normally collect the second half of my fee immediately upon arrival, the bride (who was writing the checks) didn't arrive until just minutes before the ceremony began. It didn't seem particularly tactful to approach a woman standing 20 feet in front of the alter and ask for money and I’m certain that had I done this, her review would instead have loudly proclaimed that I interrupted the ceremony and demanded to be paid. After the ceremony ended, the family members were slow to disperse, and there wasn't a private place to approach them. I never address payment issues in front of family or guests. At this point, it was simply a courtesy that I continued to wait for payment (heaven forbid, the hired help actually expects money!)
When the wedding party arrived at the reception, they were announced and immediately spent some time greeting guests. We had previously arranged to shoot a few more couple's portraits at the reception hall, so I encouraged them to step out with me for a few minutes to have them taken. When we were finished, I broached the subject of payment. They seemed surprised and admitted that they had forgotten their checkbooks. I informed them that it was against my policies to shoot an entire wedding without advance payment, but said we could work something out and I could send them a bill later on. The bride responded that she thought she could borrow a check from her father, and rushed out. A few minutes later, I had payment in hand and everyone was happy.
I attempted to dispute the review with the company on the grounds that it was pure fantasy on the part of some rather delusional individuals, but they sided with the couple, citing that they could find no evidence of “malicious misuse.” Obviously, our definition of “malicious” varies a significant degree. Having failed to get the review removed, I wrote a sarcastic and irritated letter to the claims department as well as an angry email to the couple (“thinly-veiled death threats” might be more accurate than “angry”) and continued to debate about how to proceed.
I considered briefly responding to the review with my own tale of what had transpired. I figured that once I had accused the groom of making drunken advanced toward me and the bride of slapping the caterer, most prospective clients would give me more sympathy than blame. I considered myself a decent writer and was certain I could concoct any number of fantastically perverted atrocities that would be, at the same time, both horrifying and completely believable. I had actually started writing this response before my business sense kicked in. Darn that. The response I eventually submitted was professional sounding and completely true, albeit far less entertaining.
